Alone

Again I guess this is the only way I can get things out before I start work. Chem test tomorrow but no motivation at all :(

Well I guess this time I can say that things arent looking that well. And I'm all alone in this harsh world filled with competitive fegits that will only do things if it benefits them. How ironic was it that I wrote about this in my chinese compo last fri.

I really wonder what I've done to receive these kind of treatment from my peers. Maybe I'm quite coarse or just not good-looking, but I guess I still put in effort when you are in trouble. Im just hoping for some reciprocation, which you dont seem to provide.

I guess personal benefit strikes again yeah? I sort of knew deep inside that nobody would listen and help for they would rather take that time spent to finish up their notes on alkanes than dig out their old tutorials. Yeah I know its my own fault for not really listening in class but I really hoped that at least one of you kind souls could help me out instead of helping me only when things look favourable to you.

You show concern when I failed, but did it translate to actions when it really mattered? The answer is an obvious no, and you just seem to care about yourself and your connections with the opposite gender. I guess maybe I'm jealous, but it just goes to show alot more than it actually is.

Haiz I guess im just seeking for more close friends that will really aid me as much as I will aid them, and that as much of an introvert I am, I don't want to be alone. Friends keep me going, they really influence me to do better. I guess the current lack of such in my class has led to my detriment, and to be honest I'm really not surprised.

Another day to chem mlt, another month to promos, another year to a levels. After that, I can really decide for myself if I still wanna stick around you or find those who value the saying that friends are always there for yoy whenever you are in deep shit.

Random fact of the day:
Something's wrong zz I just shitted twice in the past 3 hours. Must be stress LOL