I guess I can start by saying fml? I really don't know whats going on with me right now, with the first being me being unable to fully and clearly express myself, be it on this blog or with my "friends".
"Friends" eh? Sometimes I wonder if the friends i make are really "friends". This is kind of stupid but I just checked dictionary.com for the meaning and it says "a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard". Maybe not feelings of affection but personal regard would be more applicable to me.
So what I'm really flustered about would be are they really my friends or are they just putting up a facade in front of me and talking shit behind my back. Maybe as humans we all have this 1 person we dislike but still put up a smiling face and interact with him (yes i admit i do that too) but sooner or later that person is gonna realise that its all fake and meaningless, and that's what I seem to feel with some of my friends now.
I'm not gonna lie, the feeling you get when you find yourself being ostracized sucks, and its like when people that you once thought were your best friends start turning their backs to you that you realise "oh im just a placeholder until he finds a better friend". Yeah that's what I feel is happening to me right now.
I guess maybe its just me over thinking stuff but I really can't help it, its like my 6th sense is acting up and yeah most of the time its something you know but you can't explain it. I guess sometimes I try to convince myself its not the case, but time and time again they just keep you out of stuff that you feel like that.
I won't name who, as I guess if they were really putting up a facade then its not worth remembering them whenever I read this blog. But then again, these were the peoples when you had the most fun times with when you thought they were your "real friends", and that the laugh they make when you crack a joke isnt some forced bullshit just to make you feel happy.
This may sound like a really wishy-washy matter and you can say I'm just trying to make a mountain out of a molehill. But really, I really really really hate the feeling when you find out that someone doesn't seem to treat you like a real friend, and it just makes you feel like you've never met them in the first place.
As I say all these, the same few names just keep running around in my mind, and they're all from my class. Maybe its just jc then, new environment, new gender (i guess? LOL), and new experiences. I really don't know why its like that, most of the good friends I made in high school are really good brothers and I can really tell that they do enjoy my company. Its like although we're in different classes now, the friendship is still very much the same whenever we meet, and I'm really happy to have met them. :)
I guess ending with that sweet note was a good idea LOL. I can always hope that the "friends" I have are real and I can fully depend on them as they could with me :)
P.s. Oh and maybe after every blog post I'll post something random (most likely nice/good) that happened today :D
2 things today:
Happy Birthday Gee Ping! the cake was damn nice btw :D
Wah huat $100 bucks to split with Han Long from econs tuition xD
So what I'm really flustered about would be are they really my friends or are they just putting up a facade in front of me and talking shit behind my back. Maybe as humans we all have this 1 person we dislike but still put up a smiling face and interact with him (yes i admit i do that too) but sooner or later that person is gonna realise that its all fake and meaningless, and that's what I seem to feel with some of my friends now.
I'm not gonna lie, the feeling you get when you find yourself being ostracized sucks, and its like when people that you once thought were your best friends start turning their backs to you that you realise "oh im just a placeholder until he finds a better friend". Yeah that's what I feel is happening to me right now.
I guess maybe its just me over thinking stuff but I really can't help it, its like my 6th sense is acting up and yeah most of the time its something you know but you can't explain it. I guess sometimes I try to convince myself its not the case, but time and time again they just keep you out of stuff that you feel like that.
I won't name who, as I guess if they were really putting up a facade then its not worth remembering them whenever I read this blog. But then again, these were the peoples when you had the most fun times with when you thought they were your "real friends", and that the laugh they make when you crack a joke isnt some forced bullshit just to make you feel happy.
This may sound like a really wishy-washy matter and you can say I'm just trying to make a mountain out of a molehill. But really, I really really really hate the feeling when you find out that someone doesn't seem to treat you like a real friend, and it just makes you feel like you've never met them in the first place.
As I say all these, the same few names just keep running around in my mind, and they're all from my class. Maybe its just jc then, new environment, new gender (i guess? LOL), and new experiences. I really don't know why its like that, most of the good friends I made in high school are really good brothers and I can really tell that they do enjoy my company. Its like although we're in different classes now, the friendship is still very much the same whenever we meet, and I'm really happy to have met them. :)
I guess ending with that sweet note was a good idea LOL. I can always hope that the "friends" I have are real and I can fully depend on them as they could with me :)
P.s. Oh and maybe after every blog post I'll post something random (most likely nice/good) that happened today :D
2 things today:
Happy Birthday Gee Ping! the cake was damn nice btw :D
Wah huat $100 bucks to split with Han Long from econs tuition xD
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